Firsts

Stuff happening for the first time is a big deal for parents.

• First moments outside the womb
• First time in a car seat
• First time being introduced to {family, friends, coworkers, our landlord, the mailman}
• First time in a crib
• First belly laugh
• First time sleeping through the night
• First time in the pool
• First time holding a bottle on their own
• First time on an airplane
• First words
• First birthday
• First steps
• First time pointing to {toes, belly, ears, nose} upon request
• First time going poo poo and pee pee in the big toilet.
• etc

Some of these feel natural, like words and steps. Others are family specific and environmental, like getting in a pool or flying on an airplane.

We (collective “we”) document these firsts with photos and memories and notes. We share fun updates with family and friends and strangers and landlords and the mailman. We’re happily surprised some days and patiently waiting most of the others.

Guessing milestones is an understood tradition when parents talk with each other. It’s that carnival game where you give someone money and they guess your weight by looking at you. “What is she….10 months? Ohhhh I bet you’re taking steps soon aren’t you?!??”

I think about these firsts a lot. Not just Mazey’s, but some innate, collective focus on our children’s firsts.

Why do we all care so much?

Reason 1: Pride

“Mazey turned one” pops a tiny sense of pride every time I hear it. The same goes for her first steps and words. Parents use milestones as a proxy for the joy in seeing kids grow up, but also the satisfaction in figuring this whole thing out as we go.

If you’re talking to a parent and they seem excited about milestones, be happy for them. Even for the ones that seem mundane. They’re probably trying their best.

Reason 2: Gratefully Dad

Exercise: Reread the bullet points at the top of this post.

Now consider if (a) your child has done these things and (b) the circumstances in which a child would not have these firsts.

If you’re like me and (a) is true, then it’s probably worth being grateful for our time so far.

Reason 3: Time is a flat circle

A friend of mine poetically declared “time is a flat circle” after having his first kid. I think he is right, but only to an extent, because the onslaught of firsts eventually shatter the flat circle continuum.

We course correct from a slow, flat circle of time to a warp speed, linear sense of time. It all just goes so fast, partially because we accumulate firsts to use historical reference points so quickly.