In the moment, {something} may not be very fun.

A wailing toddler at 3:12 am. The post-school but pre-bedtime meltdown. The epic travel day with delays and schlepping luggage and no naps. Those first 21 days.

In the future, eventually, we look back fondly on this stuff.

Maybe just one day later when the travel chaos is over. Maybe hours later when you remember holding a scared toddler on a rocking chair last night. Maybe after a full year of parenting when days 0-21 now feel like a blur and a dream.

Ask someone on their death bed how they feel about a rough night of sleep or a long travel day with kids.

A good rule of thumb: if future you will look back fondly on this moment, just embrace the moment now.

Our kids (and grandkids and great-grandkids and etc) will have access to a never ending photo gallery of life. 

Thousands of photos and videos. Birth. Steps. Holidays. School. Sports. Weddings. Funerals. Vacations. Pictures. Pictures. Pictures.

Here’s a safe bet for the future: our kids will appreciate the never ending photo gallery of life, but yearn for the words of our past on paper.

Take the picture. Then go write to your kids. You will thank yourself later and so will they.

It’s not hard to predict where your head will be when {X} happens.

Where X might be a long day of air travel or a looming meltdown before bedtime or a frustratingly short nap.

When that stuff happens….you can pretty much guess how you will feel in the moment. Whatever that feeling is, probably worth just acknowledging it beforehand.

For a one year old, the pots and pans are fun because they’re new and weird and optimal for banging. The little guy doesn’t know pots and pans are meant for boiling water and cooking pasta.

For a three year old, the equation is slightly different. The pots and pans are fun to play with because she knows exactly how they are normally used…..boiling water and cooking pasta. 

Of course, it’s not just pots and pans.

And for both stages, let it ride and double the fun if you can.

Is exactly when you should:

(a) do it.*

(b) with a good attitude and posture.

* it = whatever you can think of….but you know what it is.

Fill in the blank.

We’re a family who reads books. We’re a family who eats together around the table. We’re a a family who goes to bed early. We’re a family who prays together. We’re a family who looks for the good in people. We’re a family who lets the house get a little messy over the weekend. We’re a family who asks curious questions.

Two things are true:

(1) Good or bad, the blank is being filled in every day, week, and month.

(2) You have the power to change just about anything in the blank. Refer back to (1) above.

For most people, it’s just easier to be thankful on Thanksgiving.

Family. Friends. Good food. A long weekend. Cool weather. A gateway to December holidays. There is a reminder in the name. We may even awkwardly say stuff we’re thankful for out loud.

Thanksgiving is a forcing function to reset our expectations.

Then tomorrow hits. And day 17. Day 101. Day 212. Day 299. Day 364. It’s a long road all the way back to Thanksgiving next year.

Expectations go back to normal. We don’t say the stuff out loud. We definitely don’t write it down. We forget that a slow morning with kids who woke up on the right side of the bed is just amazing. And perfect weather for the big outdoor party is a gift. And using FaceTime to see family is absolutely bonkers when you really think about it.

Thanksgiving matters. But so do the other 364 days in the year.

This whole thing is just one big whacky, strange, hilarious, sad, exhausting, energizing, exhilarating, weird, discouraging, motivating, short, long, serious, challenging, and hilarious science experiment.

And you play a lead role in navigating the science experiment every minute of every day.

Just wild.

I can never remember that socks go on feet.

We first try the nose. Then the ears. Then the head. Then my nose. Then her feet.

It gets a laugh every time. Grumpy tired tears (temporarily) turn to giggles. Excitement and wiggles get even wigglier.

We all know what’s coming. As of today, the sock bit still works every single time.

Until some day, when the sock bit won’t work. Find your sock bits and push them as long as you can.

Planning it all is a (learnable) skill.

The routine stuff like mornings at the playground, hikes, picnics, block parties, and sports. The big important stuff like birthday parties, vacations, camping trips, holidays, and visiting family.

Life is easier when you’re deliberate, organized, and think ahead.

But don’t forget how little we control. And planning is different than figuring it all out when things don’t go as planned. And figuring it all out is a (learnable) skill too.